member spotlight
Nov. 29 - Dec. 5



What qualities do you most admire about people?
honesty, loyalty. respect. i think a person that can possess all three of those traits is a superhuman. i understand how difficult it can be to be loyal and honest, and sometimes they don't go hand in hand together, so if a person can be both, then hallelujah.

If you could change one thing about your life today, would you? What would it be?
I don't think I would, actually. I like my life, with all the high highs and lowest lows, it's still my life and my life alone. It can be difficult and frustrating, and i tend to cry a lot, but i think everything i've done has led me here and i'm perfectly okay with that.

What is your guiltiest pleasure?
this is really hard because i don't usually feel a lot of guilt towards the things i find pleasurable. i guess...maybe going to strip clubs. i should be all 'wow this is so degrading!' but i definitely do not feel that way about it. not only have i never had a bad time at a strip club, but a lot of girls i've talked to have been able to put themselves through school stripping and afterwords still had a massive disposable income. how could you ever feel bad about that? granted, i don't know everyone's stories, but i think that has the opportunity be empowering.

hi you're really nice and i want to be your friend, can we be friends?
uh, duh. of course we can be friends. how could i ever say no to that face?

do you give advice a lot? do you take your own advice?
i actually like to think i give pretty good advice. i never take it, though. i feel like if i do, it makes me selfish? i don't know, i'm not sure if that makes sense. i can dish out fairly sound advice for other people, but taking my own just makes me feel selfish and guilty and uncomfortable. sometimes i need to hear the exact same thing from someone else before i know i can follow it.

what is the best surprise you've had lately?
let's just call it a pre-thanksgiving surprise. and i can say it was pleasant and i'm still enjoying it.

what is your favorite color?
i like black. a lot. i tend to enjoy dark neutrals. but as far as color colors go, teal/turquois and yellow, and definitely the combination of both.

do you do yoga? what is your favorite yoga stance?
i do yoga, and i'm really not all that good at it, if i'm being honest. i've only been doing it for a couple of months, because as great as hitting things is for my aggression, it doesn't always calm me down. but hey, as long as i'm being honest, i like any position that makes my booty look good.

what is one really weird fact about you no one knows?
this isn't weird to me, and more people know now than they did before, but i don't like poultry. i'm not allergic, i just don't like it. and i don't like eggs. i got this whole bird thing about me, so i tend not to eat my brethren.

what do you look for in a significant other?
this is a weird question, because i have a type, but it's not something i actively look for in a guy? as far as the important things go, i like someone who's honest and respectful. i don't think that's asking too much. i don't need someone that's outgoing, or has a lot of money, or looks a certain way. i just want someone who will respect me. i also tend to like someone who has integrity, too. a man who's honest and true to himself goes a long way.

when was the last time you felt lost? how did you get out of it?
i had some really eloquently worded answer to this, but the long and short of it is that i have felt incredibly lost before. right now, the when isn't relevant, but whether it's just being at a loss with work, or not knowing what direction to take my life in's happened. it's going to happen again. but if it weren't for the people in my life, i would continue to be lost. every single person that comes in and out of my life means something. i have the best support anyone can ask for and it comes from all over. feeling lost is never easy, but sometimes it's okay to ask for help from those around you.

are you the same person you were two years ago, or different?
i can honestly admit to being a vastly different person. with everything that's been going on with all of us over the last year and a half, that's affected me as much as it's affected anyone else. for a little while, i definitely grew up and grew into myself, but everything that's been going on has definitely changed me. i can't say whether it's a good thing or a bad thing.

Do You Have Any Undiscovered Or Hidden Talents? If So, What?
if it's hidden or undiscovered, how would i know that i have it?

Have You Ever Stood Up For Someone You Hardly Knew?
i stand up for people i don't know all the time. and then i teach them to stand up for themselves and pay it forward.

Do You Read? Has Any Particular Book Influenced You Or Left A Life-Changing Impact?
i do read but i can't say i've ever read something so profound that it's changed my life all that much. i've definitely read books that i obsess over and can't stop thinking about, but i can't say i've ever really felt that strongly about something i've read. which isn't to say it isn't out there, it's just something i haven't read yet.

Everyone Has A Mission In Life. What Do You Think Your Mission Is?
this is actually a touchy subject for me because i know i'm not living up to my potential, but i don't know what my mission in life is. i wish i did, because i'd like to fulfill the expectations i hold for myself, but i don't even know where to begin. sometimes i think my work is enough, but it's not. i don't know.

Do People Tell You That You Act Older, Younger, Or Your Age?
all of the above, actually. it's dependent on the time/day, i guess. occasionally i get the 'wow you're so mature for your age!' or the 'you sure do like stupid things for someone your age.' so i guess it depends on who i'm speaking to. you tell me.

Do You Consider It More Important To Be Liked Or Respected? Why?
respected, always. i don't think i need to actually justify myself with this because if someone thinks being liked is more important than being respected, they're wrong. it's not even a matter of opinion, it's just wrong.

Are You Good At Cooking?
brian, how many times have i tried to burn down your house in the past to prove to you that i'm a terrible cook and we should always order takeout?

Describe A Typical Day In Your Life
depending on where i'm waking up, i'm either dodging glares from a cat, or hitting snooze ten times so i can sleep longer. get up, coffee, cereal, more coffee, any appointments i have are usually in the morning, then i go to work when i can and run through whatever classes i'm teaching that day. after that, i pick dinner up on my way home, crack open a bottle of wine and spend the night in my most comfortable jammies netflixing until i pass out on the couch.

Are You Good At Making New Friends?
i'm better at making new friends than i am at keeping the old ones interested in me. the ones that want to stick around do. but i actually enjoy making new friends because i've always found it fun to get to know people and learn about them.

Favorite Celebrity?
i don't have a favorite celebrity because i don't care, but i can talk about chip and jo from fixer upper for hours if you want.

How Do You Generally Spend Your Weekends?
the same way i spend my weekdays. although sometimes i sit around on sundays and anxiously await the walking dead and gorge myself on gelato.

fuck, marry, or kill: rick grimes, the governor, abraham ford?
this is torture. kill rick, fuck the governor, marry abraham. at least with abraham, i get the luxury of being married to him, and fucking a guy that's easily like 2.5 times bigger than me, which is probably one of my biggest weaknesses. but how many times can i fuck the governor? because i'd keep him as a sidepiece.

are you as done with the walking dead as i am?
if i ever have to wait four weeks to find out if someone i know is alive is actually alive again, i'm gonna fucking fight scott gimple.

la jiggy jar jar do?

what do you want for christmas?
preferably you in something skimpy waiting under my tree. hint hint hint. juuust kidding. (or am i?)

what's your favorite smells that other people might find weird?
i don't know if people really think it's that weird, because i've met plenty of people who enjoy it, but i love the smell of gasoline and exhaust. i don't know if it's because i grew up around motorcycles and muscle cars, but there's something about those smells that really make me happy.

what disney character other than hot human ursula do you connect with the most?
first of all, good for your for remembering that vanessa is my spirit animal. i'm really proud. maybe merida? minus the fact that she has a sweet looking horse and the best hair i've ever seen. i'd like to think i share a little bit in common with her. maybe a little bit in common with flick because he doesn't take kindly to rules and he has a big heart and sense of adventure. pumbaa because he's thick skinned, but still takes things personally sometimes. mufasa because he encourages those around him to use their potential and he's lighthearted and genuine. mrs. potts because she's motherly and selfless. i wish i could be 100% flick or 100% vixey. you tell me. who would you pick?

how much have you spent on cigarettes in the past month?
plot twist: i don't smoke much unless i'm with you. so i go through about a pack a week, unless i'm stressed then it's a pack every other day. i probably spend about $40-$60 a month at just under $10 a pack for camel wides. plus, this past month i bought a carton, so i'm spending significantly less than you think.

who do you want to say the closing words at your funeral?
i'll have you know that i've been thinking about this for a while and i still don't have a good answer. i could go with something sentimental and say elena or max or cyn. but truthfully, i'm gonna go with someone like bo burnham or lisa lampanelli. i don't want the four people who attend my funeral to cry. i mean, i don't want them to cheer as they lower me into the ground either, but i don't want them to be sad?

what's one thing that's a deal breaker to you but commonly accepted for anyone else?
okay, bear with me. this might not answer your question (and it might make you want to reevaluate your life, tbh). i'm not into a 50/50 relationship. i need a 100/100 or bust. i'm not the almost girlfriend. i'm either it, or i'm not wasting my time. i think a lot of people are okay with lightweight committment and they're fine with blurred lines. i've tried it, it doesn't work for me. and i don't think going into a relationship that it's possible to be 100/100, that's not what i expect right out of the gate. i just want someone to realize that i'm worth 100%, because if i'm with them, then so are they. contrary to popular belief, i am really selective about who i choose to share my time with, it's why i can count my friends and my relationships over the past ten years on one hand. i don't thrive well as the almost girlfriend, or a filler girlfriend, and i don't do the relationship-lite deal. so i guess what can be normal for some people when it comes to relationships is a deal breaker for me. i did the fairy tale thing and it's not what i expect or even want, i don't crave cookie cutter and i'm not naive enough to think that every day will be a happy day. but i'm not okay with being in a relationship that's just a time killer. i'm not a novelty, i expect to be treated better than one.

what did you last whisper in someone's ear?
i wish i had something juicy for this, but i really don't. nothing sexy about happy endings and massages. i mean, it was probably more like 'make me pancakes dripping in butter' or something. but lets be real, the sexiest thing about that is the the part about the pancakes. because pancakes.

we're going to nice, france, what would you pack if there's a one bag rule?
how big is the bag? because i'd pack one pair of jeans, 2 dresses/skirts, 3 pairs of shoes, 2 shirts, 2 cardigans/blazers/hoodies, and the necessary items like lingerie and toiletries. i expect you to bring enough shirts for me to sleep in or wear, thank you.

if you could change anything about your past, would you? do you think it would make a significant difference now?
i wouldn't change anything, and i know for a fact that if i alter history, everything could change. i'm okay where i am in life right now. i haven't had the easiest go of it, but any problems i've had are minute in comparison to what other people could be dealing with. i've had my heart broken, and i've fucked up a lot, and i don't have the most functional family, but that's okay because i like to think i turned out decent despite all of that. it builds character, and i like to think i have character.

what's your favorite scent?
right now it's the smell of your shirts at the end of my day. it's a comfort thing for me. but honestly, men's cologne in general is something i'm rather fond of. and gasoline and exhaust, as i've said. i also like fresh cut grass. the smell of sherwood florist in the morning is really nice and welcoming, and freshly brewed coffee is something i'll never be able to get enough of. but if i have to pick a favorite thing right this second, it's you. but i'm also going to take this as an opportunity to complain about man scented things. i love man scented things. cologne, deodorant, body wash, whatever. and they always sound so tough. like hawkfire, asphalt, sharknado, gun, wasps, blood and guts. like, how tough does that sound? and then us ladies get like glistening angel tears and cashmire kitten tails. i don't want that. so axe finally puts out a women's scent called anarchy and i'm just like 'yes, this is going to be so good, i can't wait to douse myself in this because it'll make me feel like helen of troy.' fuck that. that is some pink smelling sweet pea, pomegranate, baby bottom crap and i want my fucking money back.

have you ever seen the rain?
i don't even know how to answer this set of questions. i'm so mad. what are you doing?

who will save your soul?
this was my jam back when i was a wee tike. i used to listen to this on full blast and play chips challenge on my busted up desktop. god, i hated chips challenge. i just associate this song with that, i don't know.

what's new pussycat?
there was an ad before this song for some mocha coffee jack daniels drink and i really wish i remembered what they said before the song started because it sounded so fucking good and i want it in me. but all i can think of is:

how deep is your love?
why are you doing this to me? i'm going to hit you.

hey, wanna throw up? get me naked.
let's get the fuck out of here, it's like a congregation. i hate you.

can i play with madness?
i haven't looked ahead to the other songs and so far this is the only song worth listening to. but i'm still mad about this. you're basically forcing me to make the most ridiculous playlist known to man.

are you ready for love?

what's beef?
beef is when you need two gats to go to sleep. beef is when your moms ain't safe up in the streets. beef is when i see you, guaranteed to be an ICU.

where is my mind?
so first of all, this is one of my all time favorite songs. i'm especially fond of this cover, but if you can find the 30 minute loop with rainy mood playing alongside of it, you're even better off. but also, i was at bonnaroo the year kings of leon covered this and to this day, whenever the recording of it comes on, instead of 'try this trick and spin it' it still sounds like 'try the shrimp and spinach' to me. fuck you caleb followill.

mommy, can i go out and kill tonight?
ironically, i've been listening to this album for the majority of the last month. less now since it's officially christmas so i've just been listening to a lot of ridiculous christmas tunes.

what are your most annoying habits?
i'm a score keeper, which makes me more of the resent and remember type instead of the forgive and forget. it might not be annoying to other people, but don't kid yourself into thinking i don't have a tally of all the times someone's wronged me. i generally try never to bring up the past when i'm arguing with someone, or not on the best of terms with them, since it's generally irrelevant to the argument, but i also like going into things with a loaded gun. i keep score. sometimes i hate myself a little bit for it, but i know i only do it to protect myself.

Is any member of the family special to you in any way?
my dad died before i was born, and my mom and i severed ties when i was 16, then i was emancipated at 17. my uncle ted has always been the closest thing i've had to a father. i lived with him from the time i was 16 until i got married in my early 20's. he and my aunt dinah were more loving than my mother ever was and they would do absolutely anything for me. and they have, so in return i try to do the same. ted's the one that has really pushed me to get where i am now, and i think we have a special relationship. from the outside in, i know it looks rough and sometimes it seems like we don't get along, but what people don't see is that he's my lifeline. he's protected me my entire life and has given me the means to protect myself from anything or anyone else. most of what i do now is to make him proud.

Do you like food mild or heavily spiced?
i had to come back and rewrite the answer to this question because i realize my original answer was about spicy food. this question is not about spicy food, it's about heavily spiced food. two very different things. yes, i love my food heavily spiced because i actually like it to have flavor. i don't want to eat some bland as meat, put a little mrs. dash on it.

Who would miss you, should you go missing?
probably my birds. i feel like they'd be bummed if i wasn't around for them to sing to and snuggle with. maybe the rabbit. maybe nate's cat because then it wouldn't have anyone to convert to catdom, which i think he's slowly attempting.

Do you currently have a best friend whom you would protect with your reputation or your life?
elena and max are my people. i'd kill some bitches for them bitches because them my bitches and mine alone. but really, i just want to pocket them up and keep them safe from the universe because i love them more than i care to admit. like, you'd puke if you knew.